A quick pit-stop, on an Indian summer day

This is not my best blog post. It is just a little blurb to keep the blog alive. It is a page where I would love to write more, but lack the confidence (and often the time) to do so.

I am writing from a room where the temperature is well above 25 Celsius (77 F), while outside Berlin is blessed by a gorgeous day of sun, a cool breeze, and the flaming colours of the fall.

It is the end of a long week, with meetings and work pretty much back to back from 8 am to 10 pm. Wednesday to Sunday, spent between coffee in unhealthy amounts, sweets and other treats, stress, and very little movement, mostly because I am sharing a room with 350 people, and some 50 laptops and mixers (they give off heat too). It's like I am asking to get sick, but so far so good.

I am writing mostly to commit this to memory. The annual membership meeting 2014 is almost over. It was interesting, but as usual fraught with lengthy conversation taking place inside my head, amongst the various facets of my personality. On the one hand, the huge motivator which was to watch and listen to the former Commissioner of the New York DOI (Department of Investigations). A true anti-corruption champion. Efficient, effective, prepared, competent, experienced, to the point. On the other hand there is the wish to do more of my own, to manage, to direct, to craft, to shape. I am witnessing a lot, but it is hard to convince myself that I am influencing anything. I could influence myself, but by training and education, my preferred venues are a bit far from what is within reach now. A gym, perhaps. A book. But other key items are missing. Time, mostly, but also the mental discipline to set my day in a way that protect the space I need to devote to personal growth.

There will be a closing dinner tonight, and the next two weekends are pretty much taken already, so that will be my time frame to set the plan in motion, to go at it again, and try to become, every day, the better version of myself, and not just a bystander observing life zooming past.

M.